So I basically had the craziest morning ever in my life... I am so sick to my stomach right now, but I have to write it out. There is a lot of this I have put together after the fact, so don't judge me on my thoughts and decisions... I'm doing enough of that myself.
So Jared left for work this morning around 4:00. Soon after he left, I could hear crying coming from next door. The couple next door to us in the hotel has a toddler so I thought nothing of it. The crying continued for awhile, and I started to get a little nervous. I realized it wasn't just teething crying, it was desperate crying. I didn't want to call the office on them, cuz if that was me and my kid was crying so hard I couldn't get them to stop I'd be embarrassed if people started calling about it. Looking back, I shouldn't have cared about dang embarrassment.
Finally, I'm about to call the front desk, when I hear a knock next door and a guy asking the kid if he was okay. Then a knock on my door. But I am not dressed so I hurry to see who it is first (because I've had creepy guys knocking on the door and I didn't want to open it for just anyone, paranoid I know). I see a guy in a reflective mining coat pick the kid up and leave. Then I start to panic. Was that his dad? I couldn't see his face through the peephole. Did I just witness a kidnapping? Why did they knock on my door? What is happening?
<<<I've put together that I think the toddler was outside crying the whole time, that's why I could hear him so well, and the guy was a guest on his way to work and saw the kid and took him to the front desk.Trust me, this makes me feel 10,000 times worse that I just sat inside thinking his mom was just having a hard time with him.>>>
I'm standing there, mulling it over, trying to figure out if I should call the cops (yes, I am annoyed that I worried about waking someone up needlessly in this situation... it was 4 in the am, I wasn't thinking straight and to be honest, never dreamed that someone would leave their kid outside alone, so my brain was trying to put together another reason for all this happening...)
As I was about to call the police, there's a knock on the door and a man saying, "Police Department, is anyone in there?" I hurried and threw some clothes on and went out. At this point I am just feeling sick because I don't know where that kid is or if he's okay. I ask them first, is that kid okay?
<<<Also looking back, at this point I didn't realize that he was probably standing outside in the cold by himself, so how I acted probably made me look like a total jerk who ignores kids crying outside my door>>>
They said he was safe and getting warm (this is why I think he was outside). I told them I'd heard him crying then someone knocked and I wasn't dressed but by the time I got to the door a guy in a yellow mine coat had picked him up. I thought it was his dad. They confirmed all that but didn't say it was his dad (which I know now that it wasn't).
They were pounding on the door for about 5 minutes until the manager came and opened it. By this time I was back in my room, but still looking through the peephole. They went in, were in there for a few minutes, then came out with two guys about my age. Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?! I was so irate and sick I seriously almost threw up right there. By this time I had figured out the little boy had been outside the whole time, and these two guys were just sitting in there, knowing he was out there, and probably had put him out there?! And wouldn't answer the door when the POLICE knocked?! I hope they freaking rot in jail!
I was just shaking at this point. It honestly never even occurred to me that someone could really do that to a kid, I mean I see it on the news and stuff but when it's happening right in front of you... I guess I'm pretty naive. It just makes me sick that the whole time that little boy was crying, all alone, he was only about 5 feet away from me and I didn't look out the door. I know I can't beat myself up about it, I had no idea and what's done is done, and the kid is safe now, but my eyes have really been opened.
About 10 minutes after the cops left, I saw the dad run up to the room and run in and then run back out like he was looking for something. He looked desperate. I'm assuming those two guys were friends and were supposed to be babysitting. I don't know though, I only know what I saw. This guy was pretty torn up. Then it looked like the mom, with the kid, came walking back and into the room... That's why I'm guessing it wasn't really the parents fault because they gave the boy back to them instead of taking him to child services. I have no idea what the real story is, but that's how I saw it. At least he is safe and (hopefully) with people who love him and will continue to be safe. I'll definitely be more aware, and if something seems weird or off, it's probably because it is and I should act immediately.
Living in a hotel has made me a bit paranoid and I think I've lost quite a bit of my naivety. Although, let's face it, I'm still pretty naive. I can totally understand agoraphobics. I know that panic disorder comes on slowly, but the beginning stages are completely understandable to me. I freak out a little every time I leave this room, because what if someone is out there waiting for me? I've had enough guys knocking on the door then facing away so I can't see their face to warrant this one. What if someone mugs me? What if I get shot in the cross fires of a feud? What if someone attacks me in the parking lot?
I know it's irrational, sometimes I laugh at myself about it, but I'm hoping it's just because I'm in a new place and living in a hotel where you never know who your neighbor is. Obviously. Hopefully once we're in our house, this fear of people and being around them will go away.
I'm still so sick about that poor kid.
Well, that was my morning... kind of a long post but I had to get all this out so I don't feel so terrible about it all. I'm going to try to eat something, try to make this shaking go away. I hope all of your morning's have been better than mine! (Not that I feel bad for me at all, I just wish I could take all kids that have things like that happen to them and find them good homes. But I know I'd just bring them all home to live with me and I'd have a million children.)
At least I remember praying for the little kid when I thought he was only crying in his room with his parents. If I had realized the situation, I would have raised hell with whoever they found in that room.
Now, after reading this, read this article. Luckily I found it right after I wrote this and it has helped me believe in people again. There will always be terrible people in this world, but there will always be great people too. I want to dwell on the good stories.